Tuesday, April 24, 2012

conspiracy? corruption? and panic!

My second child, my first son, Giovani, arrived January 11th, 1998.
His birth was happy and joyous event, and yet there was so much going on in that hospital that was just not right. I couldn't make sense of it.

After his birth, I finally demanded that they allow my son's father in to see him. Why they hadn't allowed him in? That was still baffling to me. I was 18 years old, not a minor and had made no request of them that he be kept out. I couldn't understand why no one would listen to me or answer my questions but I remained calm and rational. I knew that still.. even at 18, I was watched like a hawk as a young mother and did not want to do anything to make myself appear anything less then a perfect mother.

 We had visitors in and out all day when he was born. The nurses took a special liking to Giovani, they adored his name for one and paid much more attention to him then I'd seen with DeAna and my other friends babies I'd visited in the same hospital upon birth. Of course that was a good thing, but they also kept giving me the oddest looks. Have you ever just noticed when people aren't looking at you in the way you expect them to? When there eyes seem to be saying something but you can't understand what? It put me on edge but I dismissed it. Being tired, still having medication in my system, it could have been anything making me feel that way.

My sons father was there for a lot of time in. He signed the birth certificate and all those things. We finally agreed on circumcision which was something I couldn't make up my mind about and once it was done, I  instantly cried hearing my newborn cry in pain. He posed for pictures holding him and all was good.

Later when he called me from the place he lived, I could hear his girlfriend making comments to me in the background. This happened at the same time a nurse was taking my blood pressure. It was something like 186/110... outrageously high and she told me to get off the phone. That talking to him was too much stress and I needed to rest.

Now babies slept in the same room as mom in the hospital but the nurse offered to take him for a little while so I could rest. I didn't see anything wrong with it. If I was a nurse working in a hospital I would want to borrow the babies, of course. Isn't that the best part of being a neo-natal nurse? Getting to spend time with the babies? I knew they adored him and I also knew I was going home on my own to not just a new born but my two year old little girl, so i should rest as much as I could. I agreed. I trusted the hospital and the nurses. I told her to bring him back so i could nurse him.

When I woke up, it was morning and my baby was not in my room. Nor had they woke me to feed him. No one was there but me. I remember how bright the sun was in the room as a warm streak of panic swept through me. I rang my bell and a new nurse came in, shifts had changed. I asked for my son, she snapped at me that she had instruction to keep him with her. I said I knew that, that I had requested that he stay the night at the desk so i could rest but I wanted him back now, he needed to eat.

She refused to bring my son back to me!!! She walked away saying she would look into it. Tears poured down my face but i refused to give in to the panic attack stroking its way through my upper torso. I wanted to sob but I was exhausted and so confused. Surely there had been some big mistake. God blessed me in that moment, because my children's Doctor, Dr. Curi, came into the room to see me and my son. He'd been my doctor my whole childhood and was now also caring for my kids. He always told me how he held me in such high regards as a mother. I explained to him what I'd been told about my son being held from me and he said he would find out.

Moments later a nurse came in and said Dr. Curi was giving my son a check up and he would be brought back to me as soon as he was done. The panic passed but moments went by so slowly. It felt like hours when in reality it was minutes, before I held my son in my arms. After that I was scared to even get up and take a shower for fear they would come in and take him. I will always be thankful to that doctor, he was an amazing man who touched my life and the life of my children in so many great ways for decades.

Only month before my own step sister had given birth to her second son only to have him snatched from her in the very same hospital by DCF. She would later regain custody of both her children was it was a long and painful battle. One I didn't want to go through myself, and one I didn't see reason for them to put us through.

I was a good mom, a young mom, but a very good mom. They had no reason in my eyes to target me but what was going on??

The rest of our hospital stay was glorious. Friends and family poured in from all over. A favorite memory of mine was having my high school girlfriends serenade my son with a duet of KC and JoJo and Boys 2 Men songs I loved.

DeAna was unsure of what to think of her mommy being in the hospital with a new baby. I tried to make their introduction as smooth and bonding as possible but it was obvious she was a little unhappy with the whole thing, In fact she was much more interested in the single serving sized box of cheerios then her new baby brother.

When the day of discharge came I was more then ready to get home and back to my new life. It was taking for ever for my discharge to happen. An older nurse, who had been overly kind to me saw the worry on my face. She told me she'd been a teen mother too who had gone through much of what I was facing. She told me not worry, things would play out but be okay. I asked her what was going on. Why had there been security outside of my door? Why had they held my son from me?

She closed the door and explained. The counselor I was seeing had called the hospital and given instruction for my son's father to not be let in. I'd even been checked in under a fake name. I later learned a friend had called and let him know that yes, I'd gone into labor, what room and the phone number to reach me. When my son's father showed up at the hospital with his new girlfriend in hand, panic broke out amongst everyone.
That was the commotion I'd heard in the hallway.

When I allowed him to come in to see his son, that's when the counselor was contacted. She in turn had called the Department of Children and Families, which is why my son hadn't been given back to me right away!

Now mind you, my sons father was just 18 himself at that time with no criminal record, no problems with the law. We never had a domestic violence issue. Other then being young and immature in our relationship, there was no big issues, no threat of harm..ever!! I mean ever, ever..even to this day he is one of the greatest people you could know in life and our son is 14 years old and I still consider him a great friend.

DCF didn't respond, and didn't see what the issue was. Because it was a mandated reporter calling..that certainly says a lot about the fact that she was reporting on nothing. But why?? I will never know. I will never know why she did those things to me. I would love to say after that I never crossed paths with her again but that didn't happen. I can say that DCF never showed up at my door based on her false report and she made one last visit our house with her daughter by her side, it was uncomfortable and she said she was closing out my case because I was doing "so well". She never made mention of her calls to the hospital or DCF. I never confronted on all the heartache she caused or tragedy she tried to bring to my family.

What did happen was I brought my precious baby son home with my adorable little girl, and made a happy life for all of us. Ignoring everything and anyone who would have wanted otherwise.

Giovani Matthew wearing the shirt his daddy bought him while I was pregnant

Started playgroup almost right away!

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