In the wake of adversity

With the pregnancy of my second child, I had a lot more to handle than with my first. Overcoming a broken heart with my hormones surging, raising a toddler, going to school, working..not working..not sleeping because DeAna was still up numerous times a night..and all the other teenage drama that goes along with being a teenager was a lot. I was a smart girl who knew when to ask for help. In addition to all the playgroups we attended just to get out of the house and socialize, all the parents aids who came in each week..I had called for counseling for myself.

I wanted to get over the break up, as I said, the father of my 2nd child was my first real boyfriend and my first real love. That is hard enough for anyone to get over, never mind someone with all the other things going on in my life, including a baby who was half his, on it's way. I needed someone I could talk to about me stuff, other than baby stuff.

I called and set up to meet with a woman who was recommended because she worked hand in hand with a lot of agencies I was already involved with. She and her adult daughter worked in the same office. I went in for an intake with the woman. She was a grandmotherly type with a warm smile. I briefly explained to her some of the challenges I was going through and she listen and as typical, made notes on a clipboard. I had no reason not be honest, as none of the things going on in my life would really be considered a huge deal to anyone but me. Because I did not drive and because I was pregnant and her office was an hour walk from our home, she arranged to come out for sessions. She did this with some families she said.

Despite my ache, I did what I needed to do. I put down a big layaway at Kmart planning ahead for Christmas and My baby who was due in January. I was planning for a boy and thank goodness an ultra-sound would later confirm it. I was trying my best to do all I could on my own. After one doctor's appointment, me and my son's father put a double stroller on layaway at Reibman's store. He agreed to pay half. With hard work and payments I was getting somewhere. Determined that I would still provide for my now two children, on my own as best I could.

I kept a very clean apartment and cooked very healthy meals. Although my cooking skills were very limited, I did my best. The kitchen to the in-law apartment was being renovated so with the exception of a refrigerator, microwave and a cabinet, I did most of our cooking in my mother's house and we still ate most meals with them.

I'd gotten DeAna a toddler bed and set her room up in the dining room and of course it was all Winnie-the-Pooh. I had my bedroom, a living room with a couch and TV. There was another bedroom, a bigger one, which was still being renovated and so I used that for storage. The size of the apartment was perfect for one mom and a young toddler. I'd also gotten DeAna her first pet. A small black kitten who kept things cozy with her cuddles and DeAna adored her. It was a comfy kind little place.

None of this flew with the counseling woman when she came out. Although the apartment was clean, she said an apartment under partial construction was not. She also said it wouldn't be suitable for bringing a newborn home to. She hated the kitten who'd left scratches on DeAna's hands and arms. She demanded the kitten go, she demanded we move, She wasn't nice about any of it.

The fact that none of the other home visitors that came had taken issue with our living conditions didn't matter to this woman. To make it worse she let it be known that if I didn't move promptly she would report me to DCF. When the woman left and my parents came home, I cried to my mother. She of course couldn't see what this woman's problem was either.

This woman had me locked in. When I tried to get out of appoints with her she said she would report me. After seeing babies taken from friends time and time again I was terrified. I felt like I wouldn't have a leg to stand on against her. I got rid of the kitten. Better the loss of a kitten then my child.
I went back to the apartment complex I'd applied at with a ten page letter telling them how I needed to move and fast. They agreed that because I turned eighteen in November, a few months before my sons birth, I would be able to move in on my eighteenth birthday as long as  I came back with 10 references from people of stature in the community. Most people only needed a few, but because of my age and because I had no previous rental references to us, I had to get 10 letters!

That's when all my time with parent aids and playgroups paid off because these people knew me well. I was able to get my letters in. The woman who demanded I move refused to write one.  The woman did not call DCF just then. She stayed an annoying part of my every week. Even after the move.

The new apartment was wonderful. What we owned hardly filled it but I loved it whole heatedly. I was hugely pregnant, much bigger then I'd been with Deana. Yet, I loved cleaning and decorating every inch of it with what we had. Staying our first nights there across town from my family was at first scary and then a little lonely. I called every night and all my family was good about coming to visit. My friends also came over but I was careful about how often and who. I knew I was being watched and closely, I didn't want to blow the chance that I had. I didn't want to make the mistake so many young parents make with their first apartment and let it be a hang out or party zone.

It was yet another new chapter for us, unfolding in the wake of chaos. It turned out to be a good one, but there would be some upsetting undertones.
This woman wouldn't quit, she let me know she not only didn't respect me but didn't like. She thought I was fake and trying to fool everyone. She had the power and a vendetta. At one point, her dislike of me was so bad, she almost cost me everything.