When I was pregnant my alternative school sent me to the big high school one period a day for Early Childhood education class. It was a big privilege to me because I also got to see my friends. The class itself was great, I loved it. We also had the opportunity to work in the on-site day care which made me fall in love with the idea of having my own day care center someday.
The teacher in the class passed out the robotic baby think it over dolls two weeks before my due date. She said I didn't have to bring one home if I chose not to. I wanted to. I wanted to be ready. We were to keep the dolls for a minimum of two days at a maximum of two weeks. I'd kept mine two weeks, with the doll waking me up all hours of the night. I patiently got up with her and went back to sleep. The baby doll was set to colic, I didn't know, either did the teacher. Once my actual real life baby was here, someone must have set her to colic as well. The baby never seemed to sleep, and if she did, she was on my breast or tucked close to where she could hear my heartbeat.
I was almost certain of it. For one thing, she ate all the time, like she had a huge hole in her tiny belly that was leaking out every drop of milk that ever went in. She was never satisfied. She detested the Binky. Every pacifier in the world must have tasted bad because wouldn't use it. What she wanted was to be constantly attached to me and she cried.
She cried constantly. She hated to be swaddled, which most colicky babies need. She wouldn't let anyone hold her but me. We couldn't sit still. If she wasn't asleep, we had to be walking. If we were sitting me had to be moving, and rocking in the rocking chair just wasn't enough. We had to bounce in my arms AND rock. I got so used to standing up bouncing, the few times I wasn't holding, I'd still be standing there bouncing. It was awful.
I was worried I was eating too much spice in my food and my milk was upsetting her stomach but even that didn't help. She cried if she was in the car seat until the windows were down and she could feel the wind against her face. If the car stopped for a read light, she screamed. This was colic in its worst form.
I had no choice but to share sleep with her. The bassinet and crib were nothing more then expensive decorations. She would not be put down. Now I know what your going to say, "Let her cry it out" ..there was no letting her cry it out. She just didn't stop, it just went on and on and on. My heart couldn't take letting her cry.
The dangers of sleep sharing were still not widely known. i knew to place her on her back to sleep. THAT was brand new information that I received and followed.
She went from a sleepy little newborn and to a high needs baby. I couldn't get a break because she went to no one, at least without screaming in their arms. I had to shower with her, because we were alone in the house most of the day. I had to eat with her in one arm and my food in the other. Sometimes I could put her in the stroller to take a walk and other times her screaming became so great that I had to take her out and hold her with one arm and push the stroller with the other.
I eventually bought a vibrating bouncy seat that she would tolerate for short periods of time, at least long enough for a shower or if she had worn herself out, she might even fall asleep with it. Between that and a teddy bear that played a recording of a heart beat, I got occasional breaks. Rare, but they happened. She couldn't be left to sleep in the bouncer because it kept her mostly upright and she had yet to gain neck control.
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