Fifteen and breast feeding

The decision to breastfeed wasn't easy. The social pressures were certainly to formula feed. My mail box was stuffed silly with coupons and formula samples from a variety of companies. The other teenage mothers I knew were all bottle feeding. They couldn't imagine I would do anything else. Breastfeeding was considered disgusting and vulgar to many of my peers.

I'd signed up for the Women, Infants and Children program during my pregnancy and they promoted breast feeding. My mother also encouraged it. My parents aids were half and half. Some had bottle fed and some had breast fed their own children. All the literature I read was mixed at that point. The days of the " Breast milk is best" campaign hadn't begun yet.

I think the final factor in deciding to breast feed came from a very simple fact. I could not stomach the smell of formula. I'd wake up some nights during my pregnancy swearing I still smelt the stink of formula on me from babies I cared for. I'd make a desperate run to the bathroom and vomit. I couldn't possibly feed something to my precious newborn that made me so violently ill just by the smell of it.

I knew this would make returning to school hard, but I had a great breast pump and that was my initial plan, pump and let her bottle feed during the day and let her nurse while I studied at night.

She took to nursing with a vengeance. It just came naturally to both of us. I understand why so many mothers stop early on, its draining, its limiting..but the rewards were great in the end.
Mothers and babies decide between each other whats best for them. I was healthy, I didn't smoke or drink, I ate healthy and took vitamins. I didn't have to go to work. My baby nursed easily, my body produced an abundance of miracle milk.  It worked for us, maybe too well, because she wouldn't stop nursing even when I tried to wean her. She'd still be nursing when she learned to walk, she stopped at 14 months of age.

I laugh when I hear people's out rage at mother's breast feeding in public. I breast fed on public transportation in Hartford, CT without thinking twice. I breast fed in the middle of the mall when out with friends. I couldn't stand to hear her cry out from hunger and not feed her. Not that I never attempted bottle feeding.

Bottle feeding was misery. She wouldn't take it. A few days after being discharged from the hospital, I was readmitted for massive pain in my stomach, I'd spend another four days in the hospital with my daughter at home with my mother. She'd been discharged so she couldn't stay. I was dehydrated and sick. A kind nurse collected my breast milk for me and drove it to my mother's home each night. DeAna being a few days old, took the bottle without question.

When I came home, she went back to strictly nursing. She wouldn't even take a pacifier. She refused to take a bottle. I tried every bottle nipple possible but she just wouldn't. God and my baby were going to make me stick to the nursing by giving me no other option.

Did you nurse, bottle feed or both? What influenced your decision? Did you pick one and regret your decision later?